theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
