Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
