i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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