you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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