she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
