I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And my parents said I crawled through the house
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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