: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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