i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
