dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
zippers are such a cool invention
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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