I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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