Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
