I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
