Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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