btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
