I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
