he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
