you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
