sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
