Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
