All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i drank out of a bidet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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