he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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