He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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