So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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