Will you blow on my dice?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
