I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
