I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
