K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
