Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
