exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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