he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
