I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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