You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
