i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
