Sponge bath it is.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
