idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
