you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
