I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
