i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
