Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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