In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
