that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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