why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
