Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
