ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
