I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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