There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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