Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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