If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
