Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am spending my child support on dildos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've blown a few things in my day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
