I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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