so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
